Why Not?

Taking a hard look at my life right now...I've noticed a few things are out of alignment. It's not easy to analyze myself, or find self awareness and for all it's worth it's even harder to admit when things just aren't right.

I've realized that somewhere along the way my priorities shifted. They aren't aligned like they should be right now and it's heart breaking to face the hard truth. At times like these I wish there was a pause button I could press. I wish that I could slow things down...take life at a slower pace to keep all things lined up right in my life. I know I can't stop time, or even slow it down, so where does that leave things? I need to be intentional and at times I need to make the tough choice to be sure things aren't spinning around leaving me disconnected, drained and scratching my head wondering how things became so misaligned.

In times when busyness leaves me feeling disconnected and distant from God it's easy for my 'head' knowledge to take over. I rationalize with myself saying of course God is close...I know He's always there. But even though I may know these things...my spirit or my heart feels like it's stuck in neutral...talking to God doesn't make my heart skip a beat or pound faster anymore, it's just what I should do, what I want to do, but what I often forget to do.

Even though my prayers feel somewhat empty and it's a struggle just to talk to God sometimes, I know I need to pray through it. Pray anyway...even when it's hard. So how do I get this head knowledge to grip my heart again? First I ask God to help me, because I know He's more than willing to help me out and let's face it...He's the best listener I know. And second at least for now, and this maybe something dumb, or something you may laugh about, but I'll write the word pray on my hand. A simple reminder through out the day will help kickstart the lifestyle I desire.

This goes along with the axium Erin told me today, one she has posted on her wall in her office, "Get on your knees".

Later on...I am determined to schedule a prayer time into my daily life more than just my nightly prayer. I'm sure Satan will throw everything he can against me, but I long for a life of prayer. One more axium I heard recently was "Pray early and often"--this is the lifestyle I want; one that burns knee holes into the carpet.

Just one more thing...it's easy for the doubts to creep in, "Is this really possible? Can I really have a prayer filled life?" But all I can say to that is, "Why not?".