Breaking Through

Before coming here I had heard both the good and the bad about Willow Creek. I had been to leadership summits, seen dvds and resources from here, and have read a ton of books written by Bill Hybels. What I didn't realize was how many preconceived notions I had already set in place, before I had ever even been to the church.

Having worked here for just a week I've come to realize how wrong some of those notions are. I didn't realize it much, but coming in I thought I'd have to appear perfect. That there was some standard or expectation I'd have to meet. I was intimidated and fearful before I ever got here and the doubts were pretty much fully formed. After all why would Willow Creek want me to come? I guess I was afraid that I wouldn't measure up...after all they're a church that is cutting edge, leading with strength and creativity. I was afraid to come here and feel like everyone I'd be working with would be way above my level.

After just a week of being here, getting to know everyone on the Promiseland team, and jumping in alongside them I've realized that I'm a very blessed girl. Yes the people I'm working with are extremly creative and incredibly smart...they're really know different than anyone else. They are pursuing the same passion I am, leading in their strengths and coming together as a team to reach the kids and their families. Everyone here is so loving and welcoming. I've only been here a week and I already feel like I'm a part of the team...like I've been here a long time.

Today I asked Erin and Beth (my host mom) something that's been on my heart coming into this internship. My question was "How do I gain or show confidence in things that I've had no experience with? I hate appearing like I don't have a clue how to do things at times, but I don't want to fake confidence when I haven't had the experience in it." Their answers helped me a lot. Erin told me that it's more important as a leader to be genuine. Even if it means appearing clueless at times. People don't want to follow a leader who thinks or acts like they know everything...they're looking for someone who is willing to be honest and upfront with them and to be willing to learn.

Beth told me that there wasn't any expectations or perfect standard to be fit by an intern here. She said that they're glad that I'm here, but it's not because they matched up my skills to what they were looking forin an intern...it's because God wants me here. There isn't a standard I need to live up to, but Erin and the rest of team is here to give me experience in things that will build my confidence and develop my leadership gifts. She said I should take the pressure off myself to be this 'ideal' leader I have in mind and that it's great to be a gentle quiet leader. I guess for a long time I've felt like to be a leader you need to be outspoken and upfront...but I'm realizing that this call to lead God has placed on my life is not a mistake. It'll be fun learning how to lead out of my strengths while I'm here for the summer.